Disney Dunces

The Peanuts Movie

Now don’t be sour, the Cream Crew returns to make all your cream dreams come true! This time they’ve brought not one, not two, but THREE procedures for proper cream placement. Now it's up to you, dear listener, to decide which will lead you to the most triumphant Taco Tuesday. All this and more on this week's episode covering... The Peanuts Movie?

Earth to Ned

Better off Ted is a satirical workplace comedy, centered around the employees of a stereotypical evil Megacorporation of Veridian Dynamics. Veridian Dynamics experiments on its employees, twists the truth, and will stop at nothing to achieve its goals. Better off Ned is a typo for the title of said satirical workplace comedy, centered around the employees of a stereotypical evil Megacorporation of Veridian Dynamics. Veridian Dynamics experiments on its employees, twists the truth, and will stop at nothing to achieve its goals. I’d copy and paste one more time, but then the description would be longer than this episode. It’s Disney’s inept Elmo killer, Earth to Ned!

Mulan (2020)

Hey look, Disney did that thing where they took a dump all over one of their animated classics - only this time they charged you $30 for the pleasure! So if you feel that Mulan needed less musical numbers, more CGI, and a whole lot more "being a bird", then go ahead and waste your money, because you don’t deserve to have it. If on the other hand you’re a decent human being, just go ahead and listen to this. It’s Disney’s apology for Winnie the Pooh, Mulan!

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe

There’s 104 days of summer vacation, and they seriously couldn't pick one to release this film on? If that isn’t a clear enough sign that the universe is against each and every one of us, then try to deal with the fact one of the Dunces SOMEHOW couldn’t even be bothered to watch the only good show on television. Either way, it’s the only good Disney+ Original Movie on Disney+, Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe!

The One and Only Ivan

They say that the hardest thing you can do in film is trying to bring a true story to life - but those idiots didn’t have a mall full of circus animals and Crayola insertion to work with, because Disney+ makes it look easy. It's the DPOM of the decommissioned gorilla, The One and Only Ivan!

Magic Camp

Overly enthusiastic magician Andy Duckerman (Adam Devine) gets thrown out of his magic act and finds himself in desperate need of work. Hired as a camp counselor at an elite magic summer camp, he exposes his kids to the greatest magicians he idolizes and emulates -- much to the approval of the camp owner (Jeffrey Tambor). As he gets his privileged and precocious charges in touch with their inner magicians, he imagines redemption at the camp's Top Hat competition. It's the DPOM that appeared right before your eyes, Magic Camp!

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

Oh no! It's an all-out alien invasion, and the fool-proof plan of burning down the forest is leading to nothing but civil unrest! But have no fear, Rule 63 Jesus is here to save the day with her innate power to purify! It’s the Disney dub of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind! ...wait, that can't possibly be right.

Muppets Now (Series Premiere)

It’s the Disney+ original series, Muppets Now! I’d say more, but I’d rather not have this description run on longer than it needs to.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

 

Yarr, here be pirates - and not famous Hollywood types (which just feels like an important distinction to make). So get ready for a swashbuckling good time while your first, second, and third mate regale you with the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow, and how he set sail for adventure on the Isla de Muerta, twice! It’s the theme park ride-inspired film with the name as long as its runtime, Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl!

The Princess Bride

Oh boy oh boy, do we have a special episode for all you Patinkers out there. All your prayers are finally answered as we finally cover that cult classic starring Candy Mandy himself, The Princess Bride! And on this journey, we finally answer the age old question that's haunted the world for nearly half a century, "who is Mandy Patinkin and is he actually on Homeland or not?" All this and more on this week's episode of The Patinkin Pod!