Disney Dunces

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… Some jerk decided that "May the 4th" sounded enough like "May the Force" to make it a thing, and now once a year, all your favorite brands band together to cash in on all those nerd boners. It’s just a shame because now this episode is like 80% rape, 10% Hitler, and 100% selling out. It’s Disney Dunces: Episode LVI - Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones!

That Darn Cat (1997)

Oh no! Looks like the Beantown kidnappers are hiding out in the sleepy little unassuming borough of Edgefield, and the only folks who can finger the ones who done it are these three chowda' heads and a part time alley cat. So follow along if you can, and maybe you too can earn the coveted title of “Super Sleuth”!  It’s the 1997 re-imagining of Disney's That Darn Cat!, Disney's That Darn Cat!

The Disney Family Singalong

What do you get when you cross Disney’s half-assed attempt to calm a world under quarantine with a half-assed discussion about it? A half-assed description to summarize it all! So join the Dunces as they discover just how to put the “F U” in family fun. It’s Disney’s The Disney Family Singalong!

Teen Beach 2

Kowabunga broskies! The Dunces are back in an all new format to bring you the exciting conclusion to the Teen Beach saga. Time has gone awry in Surfside City when the cast of Wet Side Story pay a visit. So come hang ten with the boys while they discuss how kissing cousins become new acquaintances. It’s Ellen Degeneres’s Teen Beach 2! Incest free since 20-1-3!

Teen Beach Movie

Elsa of Arendelle. Josh Gad’s LeFou. Cyclops Cop. Those two boys that kissed in the background of that one episode of “Star vs The Forces of Evil”. There is much debate when it comes to Disney’s first openly gay character, but luckily we can all agree on Disney’s first openly incestuous couple. It’s the tongue in cheek DCOM that couldn't get away with it, Ellen Degeneres’s Teen Beach Movie! (Wait, shit, when did High School Musical come out again?)

Cadet Kelly (April Fools' 2020)

Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… Three Dunces set off to provide in-depth coverage of every Star Wars film in Disney’s lexicon, and three movies in, that journey finally begins. It’s just a shame none of them actually watch this one, but fear not! For in troubled times, one can always look to the hymns of yore to guide the way! It’s Disney Dunces: Episode L - Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace!

Stargirl

Alright children, it's time once again to learn to let your freak flag fly! Because no matter how thoughtful you may be, it’s always important to be yourself, then give in to how others tell you that you should be, and then proceed to be yourself again. Because you know what they say, when you shoot for the stars, you’re sure to land amongst the girls. It’s the DPOM that’s sure to bomb, Stargirl!

Onward

Awww snap, it's time to once again get down and nerdy with the Dunces! This week the boys cover every dweeby delight from alchemy to anime, and topics well outside that scope because we know you poindexters are going to try to point out how small of a range that actually is. So roll those D20s and draw your Pot of Greeds, losers - it’s Disney and Pixar’s Onward!

Mulan

Girl's dad has to do army. Girl pretends to be dad and goes into army. Girl defeats the Huns. Girl's grandma tries to steal girl's man. It's the P.F. Chang's of Disney animated classics, Mulan!