Disney Dunces

Sneakerella

Picture Cinderella. Okay, now picture it with black people. There you go. It's Cinderella but with black people, Sneakerella!

Moon Knight (Season 1)

Alright, so Marvel already had all these Asgardians running around, and now they’ve introduced Ra, Anubis, and all their friends into this wacky world. But I’m sitting here like, "hey, where’s The Last Supper crew? Are the beliefs forced upon me at a tender age not valid, or did Jack Kirby create Jesus and his Amazing Apostles but Stan Lee just forgot to take credit?" Anyway that’s all I got, which is a lot more than this series provides. It’s certainly a show you can watch on Disney+, Disney’s Marvel’s Moon Knight!

Zootopia

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Race relations, again?!” But we here at the Disney Dunces feel that discrimination should be addressed and eradicated all year round, instead of just one month out of the year. And we will not rest until the entire world is full of horrible racists. Also, that bunny do be packin’ those slacks tho’. It’s like every character passes the Harkness Test by design, Disney's Zootopia!

Princess Mononoke

Imagine your parents went to the Louvre and picked up one of the guided tour tapes because they wanted to share that experience with you. However, on the plane ride back, they realize they’ve lost it and ask the man next to them if he wouldn’t mind recording his thoughts on the art so that they have SOMETHING to give you. And to his credit, he certainly tries his best, seeing as he thinks he’s probably been there, but instead of getting the information about the artist, brush strokes, and ideas portrayed, he just kinda tells you how nice it is and how you really just have to see it. That’s this episode. It’s a work of art to be sure, Princess Mononoke!

West Side Story (2021)

Rather than the usual, “here's a plot and follow along with us” format that you’ve come to know and love, this week the boys are covering one of, if not the most, influential stories of all time and examining its impact on every piece of media you’ve ever consumed. It’s highly recommended that you actually watch today's topic beforehand for the optimal listening experience - luckily for you though, The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius only lasted for 3 seasons, so go make a day of it and thank me later. It’s the modern remake of a modernized retelling of the original teen dramedy, West Side Story!

Better Nate Than Ever

Oh hello, I didn’t see you there. Welcome to yet another Disney Dunces Holiday Spectacular! Which is to be expected when major companies fart out content to constantly remind us the reason for the season in order to make a quick buck. Regardless, be sure to listen to this one before April 18th, because after that it reverts to a normal everyday episode. It’s Miracle on 34th Street for the next generation, Disney’s Better Nate Than Ever!

Cadet Kelly (April Fools’ 2022)

Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

Cheaper by the Dozen (2022)

56:23, you’re welcome. It’s bad enough to make you think, “hey, maybe all lives do matter,” Disney’s Cheaper by the Dozen!

Turning Red

Uh oh, looks like it’s that time of the month again! Which is to say, time to listen to your favorite boys to talk about the complex journey that is becoming a woman. I’ll be real though, I couldn’t actually listen to this week’s episode because they took all the boys from my class and made us listen to a different podcast, but I’m sure it's very informative. It’s the long awaited "The Story of Menstruation 2", Disney and Pixar’s Turning Red!

Free Guy

Time to rise and grind, gamers! ...no, even as a bit, I just can’t do it. It just sucks so much. So uh, anyone check out the demo for the new Kirby game? You get to explore the ruins of a post-apocalyptic cityscape and Kirby drives a car with his mouth. It’s kind of wild. I guess it also implies that the human race has died off potentially, but that wouldn’t be the first time that's happened in a Nintendo game. Fans of The Crystal Shards or Pikmin know what I’m talking about. Alright, I’ll stop now and do the thing, but I’m just excited as it’s the most promising Kirby game to come out in a while - so thanks for reading. It’s "Certified Fresh" despite the fact that I can smell it from here, Free Guy!