Disney Dunces

Cadet Kelly

Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

Under Wraps (2021)

Later idiots!

Under Wraps (1997)

Ладно, да, наверное, это обман, когда я просто перевожу это описание на другой язык, когда серия слишком непонятна. А если серьезно, они только что сделали E.T. Инопланетянин, но поменял местами монстров и добавил сюжет о том, как Патрик Стар трахает мать ребенка. Это менее увлекательно, чем российская заправка Disney’s Under Wraps!

Elemental

You think Pixar made a world of justified racism just to appease the “Don’t Say Gay” crowd? Naaaaah. Well, maybe. It’s someone's wet dream that’s for sure. Disney’s Pixar’s Elemental.

The Greatest Showman

If you've ever thought to yourself, "Boy, I could sure use a Disney podcast with a splash of pirate anime and a whole mess of discussion that borders on homoeroticism," then son, do I have the episode for you. If you'd rather learn about the film in the title, I don't know, try googling it? It's one big lie, and you know it: Disney's 20th Century Fox's 'The Greatest Showman!'

The Lion King 1½

Ruh roh, Raggy! Looks like this podcast has been shanghai’d by a group of salty sea dogs who want nothing to do with this week's movie! Which is to say, spoiler warning for the first 30 episodes of One Piece! Sure it’s less than 3% of the show so far and came out 15 years ago, but still, rules are rules. It’s not offensive to say shanghai’d is it? It's Disney’s Direct to DVD, The Lion King 1 ½!

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

So if I remember correctly this episode's talking points include the podcast's expiration date, the importance of resistance training, and Kashi has a cereal that makes you poop. Oh, and probably the dangers of being horny given the source material, but also probably not. It’s fun for the whole family, Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame!

Holes

You know it’s hard to discuss a film that's just packed with so much subtle symbolism. It’s just one of those things you should probably see for yourself as trying to describe the full experience is near impossible. So this week go watch the movie, and then come back and listen to people yell about Twitter and call it a day. It’s got a lynching scene some would argue, Holes!

The Fox and the Hound

가장 좋은 점은 내가 원하는 대로 입력할 수 있다는 것입니다. 모든 것을 한국어로 조금씩 번역할 것이기 때문입니다. Google 번역을 다시 시도하기 전까지는 조금 더 이해가 됩니다. 그 개자식은 정말 스탠리라고 했지? 털복숭이, 여우, 사냥개를 위한 우정의 색입니다!

Flamin’ Hot

¡Oigan primos! Join the Dunces as they take a deep dive into what might just be Latin America’s most inspirational story. To decide once and for all if lowly janitor Richard Montañez single handedly saved Frito-Lays from the brink of collapse by channeling his Mexican heritage and disrupting the food industry, or if he just sorta said he did and everyone kind of murmured about it for like 30 years until people looked into it and found out maybe he didn’t do any of it but it wasn’t really hurting anyone and could potentially do damage to call him out so it was decided it was for the best to let it go. It’s a real head scratcher for sure, Disney’s Searchlight Pictures’ Flamin’ Hot!