Disney Dunces

Oh brother, this episode is unbearable. Actually, that's probably not true, but no one can seem to remember anything before Sean/Shawn/Shan. So yeah, maybe it is, I don’t know. It’s Phil Collins pride and joy, Brother Bear!

Have you ever sat there and wondered how a bill becomes a law, but for movies? Well, you’re in luck because this week the Dunces demonstrate the process of transforming artistic vision into huge profits beloved by the mass majority, live! It’s a textbook example of something I swear, Disney’s Enchanted!

A long time ago in a galaxy... wait do we do that stupid intro for all of Star Wars or just the movies? I’m gonna go check real fast hold on. Uh, no, that's just the movies, I can type whatever I want here I guess.. well shoot. Um, "KIDNAPPING", alright perfect, print it. It’s another anthology series, Star Wars : Visions Volume 2!

If it helps, think of the first hour the entry fee to listen to the last 10 minutes. The last 10 minutes aren't good or anything, it's just more interesting as long as you're a fan of Grown Ups. It's the movie based on the book based on a different book, Disney's Treasure Planet!

Anyone happen to know the statute of limitations on child neglect? No reason, just curious. It's not like the Dunces cracked one of America’s most notorious cold cases that has been literally plaguing the world’s hearts and minds for well over a decade or anything. Just your normal average everyday episode here full of jokes and well-thought out and rehearsed movie summaries. It’s time to call CPS, The Muppets!

On a scale of 1 to 10, how straight are you? Sorry sorry, you probably need context for that question to make any sense. Well you see, this is a podcast where three fellas have a candid discussion about a Disney film they’ve recently seen. Now, this episode features a film all about a family of explorers who find themselves in a peculiar environment after they leave in search of answers to a problem threatening their way of life. So I ask again, on a scale of 1 to 10, how straight are you?  It’s like health class all over again, Disney’s Strange World.

Listen up maggots, because it's time for a pop quiz! What exactly makes Hilary Duff the Goku of this film? Who makes the Iceman cometh? Which Dunce is definitely going to prison after this one? If you don’t know the answers, be grateful that this quiz is open-podcast. Military school is back in session and hamboning is on the menu! It’s the Disney Channel Original Movie, Cadet Kelly!

With another holiday season down the drain, we learn once again that maybe, just maybe, beloved made for TV movies without any actual vision or story to tell that can’t bother to get the original actors should probably just stop at the second one instead of wasting everyone's time. Oh well, at least we all got to share a moment with Cher, and I think that's pretty cool. It’s certainly the fourth one of these, Return to Halloweentown!

Look, it’s been four years of Disney Dunces Scared Stupid Spooktaculars, so you know what happens during the grand finales at this point. The boys sit down, watch a movie that doesn’t thematically fit, talk a bunch about bears, and top it off with a quality of life check on Ben Stein. Same as the year before, same as the year before that, and so on and so forth. It’s scarier to think about watching it, Disney’s 20th Century Fox’s The New Mutants!

In this very special episode of the Disney Dunces you, yes YOU, get to root for whichever Dunce you’d like! How is that different from any other piece of media out there? I don’t really know, but I’m told people really like that sort of thing, and at the end of the day, it’s all just a numbers game baby! It’s just the right amount of comic book nonsense, Disney’s Marvel’s Werewolf by Night!