Disney Dunces

Beyond the reach of cellphones and super highways, there's a place called Perfect. In a town called Perfect, the only crime is not having ice cream on your pie. Elevator music isn't the usual. Carpets never stain. Every picture turns out. And prime time refers to something other than TV. A town where everyone gives 110%, even when tipping. Here, windows are self-cleaning. And even though life never gives them lemons, people still make lemonade. Or the only pressure is from the northerly breeze. There is no poison ivy or seven-year itch. And you only have to keep up with the Joneses on Saturdays. In a place called Perfect, people rise before the rooster. There are no allergies, only spring fever. Carpets never stain. And the local bank has hundreds of branches. Of course we don't live anywhere near Perfect, so there's Walgreens. With everything needed for the real world, that's life. This is Walgreens.

What better way of kicking off the season of screams than confronting yourselves with the fact that mothers are people too? An idea that just begs the question, “would you like fries with that?” It’s the Disney Dunces Scared Stupid Spectacular Season 4 premier, Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire!

During the episode, the bird was given the benefit of the doubt, and I let the bird slide. Turns out, the bird wasn’t in the book. They just sloppily threw in a talking bird to tell the characters where to go when convenient, because they thought it was so unbelievable that Gipetto would go look for his wooden son of his own accord. Fuck this movie. It’s just Disney checking a box so don't waste your time, Pinocchio!

You guys remember when Larry the Cable Guy snapped a man’s arm in half? I feel like it was probably covered in the original Cars episode, but I really just wanted to make sure people know about it. Pretty sure you can just look it up on Youtube if you want. Like don’t get me wrong, he obviously didn’t mean to, Larry the Cable Guy isn’t a monster. Much like this series, these things just happen, and there’s not much you can do but get through it and hope for the best. It’s unfortunate is what it is, Cars on the Road.

Feet fans rejoice, for this fetish-filled fable’s for you! And for all of you who only like feet as a friend, don’t you worry your pretty little heads, as we have the normal levels of  gummy talk you come to expect, followed by a PSA on the dangers of vapes that is sure to give truth a run for its money. It’s sure to fill that cricket-sized hole in your heart, Disney’s Pinocchio!

I’d summarize what happened in this episode, but I just can't remember... Look, if Pixar can phone it in with this carp then so can I.  It’s got elements of a story to be sure, Disney’s Pixar’s Finding Dory!

Now you’re probably wondering if this is even a movie podcast anymore. But I think if you really stop and think about it, I bet you’d realize it was never one to begin with. And maybe, just maybe, the real movie was the friends we made along the way... It’s the artsiest kids movie you’ll ever see, Disney’s 20th Century Fox’s Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox!

Hello, and welcome to the inaugural episode of "Let’s Taco ‘bout It". The only Taco Bell podcast hosted by self proclaimed experts. This week we bring a little life hack to the dinner table to really crank up that cravings box, followed by a deep dive into the origins to everyone's favorite “cinful” side. It’s not really worth talking about, LEGO Star Wars Summer Vacation!

We did it, boys! This has to be the most controversial episode that these boys have ever released bar none. But of course what else could you expect from the topic of Disney’s most controversial film since “Song of the South?” It’s funny though, I don’t even think they talked about that quarter of a second peck on the lips shared by two middle aged women that got the film banned in 14 countries… weird. It’s just begging to be locked away in the vault, Disney’s Pixar’s Lightyear!

You ever want to make an animated series based off of your super popular movie property but needed a way to shoehorn the voice stylings of the late Gilbert Gottfried and Jason Alexander out of fear that your venture would fail without that much needed star power, so you sit down and scribble a plot line in the course of at most three hours to showcase a redemption arc for your past villain and introduce a new one who would bring super low stakes that would appeal more to children every week and shove it onto a VHS and call it a sequel? Ya, me neither. It’s canon I swear, The Return of Jafar!